The Sushi and the Storm

Have I mentioned I've been trying out an online dating site?  I've been amazed by how many single, attractive, and interesting guys there are in my area.  It's overwhelming in fact.  How to choose?  Any one of those guys might be amazing!  I just have to get to know some of them...one by one?

Last week I met one of those guys for coffee.  We talked, well actually HE talked for hours.  He was a very interesting guy, and seemed nice enough.  We went out for our second date last night.  This went A LOT better.  I felt like I was really seeing him for who he was...unlike on our coffee date (more honest? open? human?).  We went out for sushi (YAY!!!).  We ordered a large sake...he had never had sake before but was a huge fan of sushi.  It turns out he wasn't a fan of sake, so I drank most of it.  We laughed at that and he promised he'd be a gentleman if I got drunk from it. 
After dinner we headed back into downtown, and took a walk up to the duck pond.  We were gazing at the waterfall and talking about his photography, when he leaned in and gave me a quick kiss!  Yikes!  Just as we went to keep walking, I mentioned to him "You know, we are on what they call the kissing bridge...".  Ooops.  He turned around and kissed me again!  It was like one of those cute awkward scenes from a cute romantic movie.  As we continued around the pond and past the big fat geese, a HUGE black ominous cloud moved over us.  Should we go somewhere?  He's not a big fan of drinking/bars.  So I let us into my shop and we sat and talked and talked and talked.  Soon we realized the storm hadn't hit yet, so we went for another walk towards the OTHER waterfall.  Storm hit!  We high tailed it back to my shop, where we hung out in the doorway, just out of the rain, watching the storm.  And we talked and talked and talked some more.  Boy, can he go off on a tangent!  I'd say that we got along pretty darn well.  We found a lot of interests that we had in common.

So it seems like we'll be going out again.  I have this one dilema:

I have a coffee date this weekend with a different guy who I'm interested in...this guy is taller, has beautiful eyes, and I think he'll be VERY different from "Storm".

Oh dear, what ever shall I do?  ;)

Why Can't I flirt? The Cute Physical Therapist

UGH.  I need to work on some things.  Like how to flirt.  Like how to let loose.  Like how to feel more confident and unafraid.

Took myself out tonight after work.  Avoided the place that I WANTED to go to, because the boat builder might be there.  More on that later.

The usual: empty seat at the bar...ordered a beer and salad with chicken.  There was an empty seat next me.  I'm eating...."Is anyone sitting here?"  My mouth full of lettuce I say No.  He's CUTE.  YOUNG.  Flawless smooth skin, square jaw, nice hair.  Button down long sleeve shirt and dark jeans.  Slim.  Basically: CUTE.

He strikes up the conversation, "Here by yourself or meeting some friends?".  Turns out we are both there solo just to get dinner on our way home from work because it is so much easier than cooking.  He's pretty friendly.  He introduces himself.  We chit chat.  He's a physical therapist.  I tell him a little about my store.  His food comes and the conversation drops to practically nothing.  Soon I'm done with my dinner and my beer, he's still eating, and I don't want to order another drink so I ask for my check.

So why didn't I flirt with him?  WELL.  I wasn't feeling so confident.  The humidity is doing terrible things to my complexion and my hair.  I could feel a couple small pimples forming up on the side of my face that was facing him.  And I noticed I spattered a small drop of salad dressing on my shirt.  So I'm trying to hide my pimple and my salad dressing stain with my unruly hair while trying not to look like a character from Fraggle Rock.  And it seemed like he may have been interested.  I think I saw him glancing sideways, checking me out periodically, and he asked that "Come here often?" question.  Like maybe he was wondering if he'd run into me again?  When I paid my bill he smiled at me and wished me a good evening.

On my way back to my car, the French Man leaned towards his restaurant's window and waved to me.

Last weekend Boat Builder blew me off...our date never happened and I haven't heard from him since.  No more daily texts from him.

Last night I went out on a "coffee date" with a guy I "met" through that online dating site. Nice guy...interesting guy...mildy attractive.  He was DEFINATELY interested.  But I found myself unable to flirt and being very hesitant about his advances....he kissed me on the cheek a couple times and I'm pretty sure he was hoping to get more than my cheek.

Who can give me lessons on flirting?  I think I'll treat my self to a facial before bed.

I REALLY don't like being out solo

Alright. So the purpose of solo date night chronicles is to to have me going out by myself, being the amazing and attractive (?) female who isn't afraid to go out alone and have adventures.

But the truth is that I HATE being out alone.  I am a quiet person, but I LOVE being out with people, talking to people, etc.  Sometimes I have a hard time with this this, because, well, I find myself rather boring.  I don't have much to talk about, and find that I have little in common with the people I find myself with around in bars.  I don't follow popular music, or sports. Or anything popular or current. 

I went out solo this past Monday.  It was nice to be out and eat dinner and have a beer.  But it was a mistake.  It was not an adventure, just a night not eating home alone.  Monday night is not a good night to go out and be around social people.  I found myself texting my new boat builder friend who was at a bar just a couple hundred feet away, and grateful for the contact with someone who seemed interested in talking to me.  (and wishing I was out with him instead of by myself).

The boat builder and I have been communicating quite frequently through text...not something that I'm used to.  But I've found myself waiting and hoping to hear from him, which has been almost daily.  At first I found his attention worrisome...not sure if it was what I wanted...not used to the attention...not used to having someone besides my mom who was interested in how my day was going.

As we all should know, texts are rather impersonal...you can't get a feel for the person on the other end...and things can get read wrong.  And there were some texts from the boat builder that I just wasn't sure about.  I AM pretty sure now that he is definately a good guy. And...and this a problem of mine...after the first few days of hesitation...I would get to hoping that he would stop in to my store to say hello again.  Perhaps because I trust the in person "hello's" much better than the texts.  Perhaps just wanting to see a man who might be interested in me, IN PERSON.

I joined an online dating site last week (?).  In the first couple of days I got over a dozen messages from guys.  Who knows if they were good guys are not....You can't tell from a picture and typed words.  I wrote back to one of them, after several days.  But in between that time I added content to my online dating profile.  And since then....no emails...I think I scared them off. Except for the guy I responded to who asked "So....how long ago was that breakup you mentioned?".

I AM (I hope) now over that breakup...and I've learned a lot from it.  I thought I was picky before, but I may be more picky now than ever.  And my goal is to let go of all of the qualifications that a guy must have...and just go with the flow.  Like I used to.  I'm still young, and I can still have fun.  I just can't let it get a hold of me.

I had a couple of beers with the boat builder tonight, and we have a  "date" for tomorrow.....

two lonely souls: Oops, fancy meeting you here....

I attempted another solo night out tonight.  I'd had a rough few days (thinking and thinking and remembering and wanting to know what I had ever done wrong) and didn't want to go home.  After closing shop, I ran a few errands then drove back into town, I knew where I wanted to go...heard they make a great mac and cheese (recommended by boat builder).  I was looking for another solo night, really, I think.  Another night to prove my braveness, stength and courage.  I'd had a "date" last week with the boat builder, and I had a good time, enjoyed his company (and his nervousness?) and I went home with a smile.  He was a perfect gentleman.  But then I got to thinking.  I got to thinking that it was too soon for any kind of date....I'm not ready yet.  Am I?  No, I need to work on me some more.

At the end of my errands, I'm in the parking lot for the restaurant, boat builder texted me a "hey, how was your day at the store?" type of message.  I texted him back.  Then I got into the restaurant, looked in, and there he was!  Of course I went over to join him.  Not only would it have felt weird and rude not to, but he had just texted me, and I knew I wanted the company.  And I had a feeling he would be there.  And did I want to run into him?  Maybe I did.  But I wasn't truly planning on it.

During our mish-mashed conversation eating our gourmet mac and cheese at the bar, we talked about some things.  I told him that I've been having trouble sleeping (which led to him asking why, but before I could answer him he said that it must the breakup that I mentioned to him last week, and I had barely said a word about it, and yes, he apparently made careful note of it).  Turns out he had a really tough one a few months ago, commiserated with me.  He said he lost 34 pounds in the month following his breakup....he couldn't eat.  It took him a couple months to get over it.  We chit chatted some more.  He told me some of the same stories he told me when we were out last week.  We left at the same time...he didn't walk me to my car like he had done before, and didn't give me a hug like after our "date".  His big white gleaming pick-up truck was parked right in front of the restaurant.  He texted me after getting home, thanking me for keeping him company.  If anything, I know I at least have the possibility of a new friend.  Another lonely soul who's looking for company for dinner.

AJ rarely texted me or asked "how was your day at the store?". If he did, it was so uncommon or so long ago that I can't recall it.  I have to admit, it's pretty nice but weird for boat builder to ask me how my day was.  I don't know what to make of it.....

Free Dessert from the French Man

It has been a tough few days at the store...a tad too slow except for the girl scout troop that I hosted last night.  And since I am supposedly getting together with The Boat Builder tomorrow, time for a night out solo at my favorite place!

I walk into the french/spanish restauraunt, and there is only one person at the bar.  I sit down and order what I had two weeks ago.  It's the same bartender and he says "it's nice to see you again".  The long haired waiter sees me and practically falls over himself, takes my hand and covers his face.  He says he has forgotten my name.  He asked the bartender what it was, he said he never got my name.  So we exchanged names.  The bartender is Andrew and the long haired waiter boy is..."Hadar"??  It starts to get really busy, ALL the seats at the bar fill.  A couple to my left, a young lady by herself to my right.  She starts up a conversation with a random young man who squeezes in next to her.  I overhear that today was the restaurant's fifth year anniversary!

The French owner/manager (?), is there (with the amazing eyes). He recognizes me and says hello.  He's gotten to know that I own the shop down the road, and every time AJ and I went there for dinner he'd almost always be the one to wait on us.  As it gets busier, the French Man is running all over the place, making drinks, seating tables, talking with regulars.  He catches my eye often, maybe because I keep looking at him and grinning, as he is dancing around and making funny stretching movements as if his back hurts.  He looks at me, "Are you okay?".  I wonder what he saw in my face, my eyes have been red and burning all day.  Perhaps he's wondering why I'm there by myself.  Yes I am okay, I tell him.  He comes over and asks me about business "Eez eet bizy for you now?  Ze bizy season?".  I tell him it's been a slow few days, and he says he hopes it gets better.  I tell the bartender that I'll pass on dessert.  The French Man apparently made note of that.  A few minutes later The French Man places a dessert in front of me with a wink, and a finger to his lips to say "Shh!".

There are a few familiar faces at the bar now.  A man on the end who I had a conversation with a couple years ago, and on the corner, an older couple who I knew from my childhood, as they were friends with my aunt and uncle.  I thank the French Man for dessert.  I wave goodbye and smile at the long haired waiter boy and told him I'll be back.  I say hello to Mr. and Mrs. Weir on my way out.

There were a couple other things that had happened...like chit chatting with the couple next me, and mis-understanding the French Man when he first said hello to me.  "Arrre you cheeething out?"  Excuse me, cheating out?  "No...Chillling out!".

Time to confirm my "date" with the boat builder tomorrow night...