So, I apparently did jinx myself with the solo date night blog idea. I have certainly been out more in the last few months than I probably have in the last few years! Reconnecting with some friends has been a major boost to my non-existant social life. I've been out to music shows, and camping, overnight guests, visiting friends in NH, etc. Also had a rather potent guy come back into my life for a breif period, only to tear himself out of it rather viciously. Actually, I think I cut him out rather viciously, yeah, it hurt like hell.
I have had a couple solo nights out that I haven't written about since then.
I'd been wanting to check out the scene of Stonebridge Restuarant. On friday and saturday nights during the summer, that place is packed, overflowing. It must must be a fun place to go, right?
The disapointing one: Went out to Stonebridge, but didn't dare face the crowds outside. Sat indoors in the nearly empty bar. Ordered food, drink. I was approached by one young man who immediately asked "what do you do?" etc. My mouth didn't seem to connect with my brain, and the words that I uttered came out all nonsensical. I felt a fool. Left shortly after.
The better one: Headed into the outdoor bar early. Commandeered a bar stool. Right in between Napolian and a lonely old man. Both tried striking up conversation. One seemed to sketchy (Napolian), the other just way too lonely. I found the best excuse to get away was to pretend to get a phone call, and move off to the edge of the place and pretend to be busy. That worked well. Hanging around on the outskirts I was able to watch the crowd as it got busier. I was near the DJ station and at one point he (the dj) tried to get me to dance. After a while I noticed a handsome young fellow (it was pretty slim pickings). And sure enough, he eventually heads over, with the classic line "Do you have a light?". We have a nice conversation over a cigarrette. Turns out he just moved to the area, didn't know many people, and was out with some co-workers. He was cute. But I think he was pretty young. Couldn't have been more than a couple years out of college. He didn't stay with me long (I probably shouldn't have told him I don't get out much). It was getting crowded, so I moved to a more open area before heading home. The night was pretty uneventful, but I had a great time!
Now for the latest developement (forgive me for leaving out the private details):
Background: My last couple big social adventures (camping, and a night out in NYC), have been with friends (who are off-limits), and couples, and gay men. HUGE lack of single straight men. I complained about this via facebook. Result? A FB friend suggestion for a single guy, friend of a friend. So we message each other, and met for coffee last weekend! It went well enough that we are going to meet again, this time for dinner. Looks like I have a dinner date coming up! Whee!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Favorite Place
It's been a while since I've been out on a solo date. Honestly, I've been either too busy, or tired.
I'd been out some with a guy, dates and so on. That has come to end, so time for more solo dates!
A couple of weeks ago, I had a GREAT night out with a group of people I hardly ever get to see. We went to a show in New Haven. It was great to be at a big, exciting music show, with a crew of people I have known for over a decade, some more like....2 decades, but haven't seen for a couple of years. The energy was amazing. And...heheh...the other fun thing was:
Any time I snuck off away from the crowds, I was never alone. Was approached by diffferent guys, looking for conversation...hitting on me I guess. I was even invited back stage by a member of one of the opening bands, which I lamely declined. Besides, he wasn't all that attractive.
Tonight, after work, I took myself to my new favorite place. I had been there before, on a solo night. And it's nice to be there early, before the friday night dinner rush. It's a European style, and has french doors that open wide to the sidewalk in nice weather. I walked up after getting out of work, noticed I was following a man who had just gotten off a motorcycle, and yes, he went into the same place. And he knew me. NO - not American Harley Man. He recognized me from a year ago when he was looking to help his daughter learn beading. We had some idle chatter about the bead business, and retail.
I noticed that I wasn't the only woman there by myself. There was a woman at a table with a suit jacket/skirt and pearls. There was another woman with heavily painted on eyeliner, who seemed WAY too happy with all the french and spanish speaking staff. Some of the wait staff have such heavy accents, that it is hard to understand them. They call you "Madame", and "Mademoiselle". The sexy french manager, well you just expect him to kiss your hand upon greeting, and he parts you with "Bon appetite!" (with his swarthy blue eyes). Sitting at the bar, my first server was a handsome Spanish looking man, very attentive. Then (I only stayed for a salad and a glass of Chardonnay), it was a tall, broad, dark skinned man. He asked me, "Are you new in town?" Well, why else would an attractive young female be at a nice place all by herself? "No, I've been here for a while." He says, "It's nice to meet you, my name is Cosby". Cosby???? A black man, yes. I would have stayed longer, but that one glass of wine made me all flushed in the face, which is quite embarrassing.
When I left, I walked along the green to have a look at another restaurant that I haven't been to in YEARS (since I went there for lunch with my Grandmother?), to have a look at their new bar area. May have to check that again as another solo night out. Perhaps another adventure tomorrow? We shall see. Perhaps with my old lady friends ;)
I'd been out some with a guy, dates and so on. That has come to end, so time for more solo dates!
A couple of weeks ago, I had a GREAT night out with a group of people I hardly ever get to see. We went to a show in New Haven. It was great to be at a big, exciting music show, with a crew of people I have known for over a decade, some more like....2 decades, but haven't seen for a couple of years. The energy was amazing. And...heheh...the other fun thing was:
Any time I snuck off away from the crowds, I was never alone. Was approached by diffferent guys, looking for conversation...hitting on me I guess. I was even invited back stage by a member of one of the opening bands, which I lamely declined. Besides, he wasn't all that attractive.
Tonight, after work, I took myself to my new favorite place. I had been there before, on a solo night. And it's nice to be there early, before the friday night dinner rush. It's a European style, and has french doors that open wide to the sidewalk in nice weather. I walked up after getting out of work, noticed I was following a man who had just gotten off a motorcycle, and yes, he went into the same place. And he knew me. NO - not American Harley Man. He recognized me from a year ago when he was looking to help his daughter learn beading. We had some idle chatter about the bead business, and retail.
I noticed that I wasn't the only woman there by myself. There was a woman at a table with a suit jacket/skirt and pearls. There was another woman with heavily painted on eyeliner, who seemed WAY too happy with all the french and spanish speaking staff. Some of the wait staff have such heavy accents, that it is hard to understand them. They call you "Madame", and "Mademoiselle". The sexy french manager, well you just expect him to kiss your hand upon greeting, and he parts you with "Bon appetite!" (with his swarthy blue eyes). Sitting at the bar, my first server was a handsome Spanish looking man, very attentive. Then (I only stayed for a salad and a glass of Chardonnay), it was a tall, broad, dark skinned man. He asked me, "Are you new in town?" Well, why else would an attractive young female be at a nice place all by herself? "No, I've been here for a while." He says, "It's nice to meet you, my name is Cosby". Cosby???? A black man, yes. I would have stayed longer, but that one glass of wine made me all flushed in the face, which is quite embarrassing.
When I left, I walked along the green to have a look at another restaurant that I haven't been to in YEARS (since I went there for lunch with my Grandmother?), to have a look at their new bar area. May have to check that again as another solo night out. Perhaps another adventure tomorrow? We shall see. Perhaps with my old lady friends ;)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
"Why aren't you married?" - A conversation with a 4 yr old
Alright, so this post isn't about going out solo - it's about BEING solo. And a child's perspective of that.
Last night I had the rare priviledge of visiting with my 4 1/2 yr old niece, and putting her to bed. Before we went up to brush teeth, etc., she asked, "Where's Mark?". Mark is my former boyfriend, whom we haven't seen now for a year and a half. She's finally started to realize that he's not around anymore. Her memory boggles me. She was only three when he and I parted ways, but for her entire life, he had been around. He met her before she could talk or walk, and was always at every family gathering.
After reading her a bedtime story, the topic came up again. "Itilacs = 4 yr old."
"Where's Mark? I miss him"
I don't know sweety, I haven't seen him for a while
"Why not?"
Well, he's busy with his life and work...."
"Why don't you see him anymore?"
I don't know...these things happen.
"How come you don't see him? He LIVES with you!!!"
No he doesn't.
"Yes he does!"
No he never did, you just saw us together.
"Why doesn't he live with you?"
Because we weren't married.
"Why didn't he marry you?"
Well...we didn't....I don't know. We were boyfriend and girlfriend. We didn't get married.
"Who did you marry?"
Nobody, sweety, I'm not married.
(and here it get's a little confusing, as she kept running around in circles with her questions)
"Are you going to get married?"
Maybe someday.
"You need to marry Mark. I miss Mark"
Maybe YOU should marry Mark!!!!
"NO, YOU!!"
No, you! when you grow up and he is an old man.
"No, YOU marry Mark! (giggle)"
I don't think that's going to happen. Someday I will have a new guy friend that you might meet.
"Is he your new boyfriend?"
Not yet.
"Why not?"
Well, because we're still getting to know each other.
"What's his name?"
Lionel (name made up to protect the innocent)
"YOU'RE going to marry Lionel!"
Enough of this silly goober talk. Go to bed!
(There was a lot more...this is the condensed version.)
Summary? I can't wait until she tells her parents that Aunty Kiga is going to marry her new boyfriend "Lionel". And that she is going to marry Mark when she grows up and he is an old man.
Last night I had the rare priviledge of visiting with my 4 1/2 yr old niece, and putting her to bed. Before we went up to brush teeth, etc., she asked, "Where's Mark?". Mark is my former boyfriend, whom we haven't seen now for a year and a half. She's finally started to realize that he's not around anymore. Her memory boggles me. She was only three when he and I parted ways, but for her entire life, he had been around. He met her before she could talk or walk, and was always at every family gathering.
After reading her a bedtime story, the topic came up again. "Itilacs = 4 yr old."
"Where's Mark? I miss him"
I don't know sweety, I haven't seen him for a while
"Why not?"
Well, he's busy with his life and work...."
"Why don't you see him anymore?"
I don't know...these things happen.
"How come you don't see him? He LIVES with you!!!"
No he doesn't.
"Yes he does!"
No he never did, you just saw us together.
"Why doesn't he live with you?"
Because we weren't married.
"Why didn't he marry you?"
Well...we didn't....I don't know. We were boyfriend and girlfriend. We didn't get married.
"Who did you marry?"
Nobody, sweety, I'm not married.
(and here it get's a little confusing, as she kept running around in circles with her questions)
"Are you going to get married?"
Maybe someday.
"You need to marry Mark. I miss Mark"
Maybe YOU should marry Mark!!!!
"NO, YOU!!"
No, you! when you grow up and he is an old man.
"No, YOU marry Mark! (giggle)"
I don't think that's going to happen. Someday I will have a new guy friend that you might meet.
"Is he your new boyfriend?"
Not yet.
"Why not?"
Well, because we're still getting to know each other.
"What's his name?"
Lionel (name made up to protect the innocent)
"YOU'RE going to marry Lionel!"
Enough of this silly goober talk. Go to bed!
(There was a lot more...this is the condensed version.)
Summary? I can't wait until she tells her parents that Aunty Kiga is going to marry her new boyfriend "Lionel". And that she is going to marry Mark when she grows up and he is an old man.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
wasting time
I'm not old enough to be an old maid, yet I'm not young enough to be a spring chicken (these few grey hairs will give me away). AT 31 years old, however, dating is not easy. Most of my gal friends are married with kids. And most of the guys out there my age that are available...well, you know what they say.
Once upon a time, I had a guy who was completely devoted to me - for life (he even knew my ring size). He thought toward the future, and what he needed to do with his life and his career so that he could take care of me, and our possible future children, and a house. He started planning, slowly.....At the time, I found the idea completely unappealing. Perhaps because it didn't feel right.
So, what am I looking for now? Can I be as picky as I am? I feel like I am READY to be with that guy who would want to take care of me. Not that the clock is ticking though. I'm in NO rush for children, though I do want them eventually. Before my eggs run out - heh.
It's got be on MY terms though. I stay here. I won't move to follow a man who can't settle down. I live in this house. The guy has to like this house too, this place. And since I can barely take care of myself, the guy has to able to prove that he can take care of HIMself. Because eventually, well, he may have to take care of me.
So what does that mean? Am I wasting my time?
Every morning that I make my coffee, for one....I wonder...about making coffee for two again..
Once upon a time, I had a guy who was completely devoted to me - for life (he even knew my ring size). He thought toward the future, and what he needed to do with his life and his career so that he could take care of me, and our possible future children, and a house. He started planning, slowly.....At the time, I found the idea completely unappealing. Perhaps because it didn't feel right.
So, what am I looking for now? Can I be as picky as I am? I feel like I am READY to be with that guy who would want to take care of me. Not that the clock is ticking though. I'm in NO rush for children, though I do want them eventually. Before my eggs run out - heh.
It's got be on MY terms though. I stay here. I won't move to follow a man who can't settle down. I live in this house. The guy has to like this house too, this place. And since I can barely take care of myself, the guy has to able to prove that he can take care of HIMself. Because eventually, well, he may have to take care of me.
So what does that mean? Am I wasting my time?
Every morning that I make my coffee, for one....I wonder...about making coffee for two again..
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
In a Perfect World / Need a Rager
In a perfect world, I wouldn't feel guilty spending the afternoon on the beach on one of my "days off". Because I ALWAY have work to do. In a perfect world, I wouldn't feel like crying as I sat on my patio in the 80 degree sunshine, letting the sea breeze dry my (so very long) hair. In a perfect world, I wouldn't feel so alone as I watched tv on Hulu.com while crochetting squares for a blanket.
I've been feeling lately that I need a really wild night out. Someplace crowded, lots of people, fun music. Have a few drinks, destroy a few men. But I'm not going to a place where I can do this on my own. Most of my wonderful gal friends, well, perhaps they are a bit TOO OLD for this kind of behavior (heheh - shout out to my fairy god mothers!). I am feeling the need to relapse into a college kids type of party, only not with college aged kids. Since, well, I am too old for that!!!! Well, maybe I'm not. I barely look like I'm over 21.....
Someplace classy, but not, a range of people, young and "old". Someplace really really fun.
What to do? It may be time to summon some of my "original chicks" from high school. Yeah, they may be married with kids, but I need some wing women! And a designated driver.....
Time to let loose! (but I need some help)
I've been feeling lately that I need a really wild night out. Someplace crowded, lots of people, fun music. Have a few drinks, destroy a few men. But I'm not going to a place where I can do this on my own. Most of my wonderful gal friends, well, perhaps they are a bit TOO OLD for this kind of behavior (heheh - shout out to my fairy god mothers!). I am feeling the need to relapse into a college kids type of party, only not with college aged kids. Since, well, I am too old for that!!!! Well, maybe I'm not. I barely look like I'm over 21.....
Someplace classy, but not, a range of people, young and "old". Someplace really really fun.
What to do? It may be time to summon some of my "original chicks" from high school. Yeah, they may be married with kids, but I need some wing women! And a designated driver.....
Time to let loose! (but I need some help)
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Hoo Haw! The American Harley Man Returns.
Oh wow. OMG. Too funny. DO I have a story for you.
It starts with my last solo date night. Had a great time, ended up sitting next to and chatting with a really sketchy LOOKING dude, who ended up seeming totally harmless and nice. Well, I happened to had told him where I worked. Since it was all of 200 feet from where the bar was.
A week ago:
Beading gals night at the store. Two of the ladies were left, everyone else had gone, and I was closing up. Had the door locked, was getting ready to shut down the register. A knock at the door. Who do I see? John/Bruce/American Harley Man. I open the door, lean out. He asks me what I am doing later. "Um, going home". He invites me out for a beer. "That's nice of you, I enjoyed our conversation last week". Friday or Saturday? "Um, I may be out and about, I don't know". He says he'll check back with me next week. My gal friends and I have a hoot. "Can you imagine if he showed up with everyone else here?" Good god, that would have been funny. The gals left, I close the store. I am walking on the sidewalk, headed to my car, when guess who pulls up on his Harley. He offers me a ride home. But then he says that I've got all my bags, so maybe not. And I'm thinking, yeah, um, I came to work in my own car, thank you.
Afterwards, one of the gals who missed the man, says to me, "Hey you never know? If he shows up again and we're all there, would he pass inspection?". NO!!!!!
Tonight:
Beading gals night on the store. At one point I remembered to whisper to my friend, "Didn't that Harley guy say he was going to come back "next" week? She tells me she will stay late with me and walk me to my car. Well GUESS what. A short time after that, who comes waltzing through the door but the American Harley Man/Bruce Willis right out of Die Hard only not bloody.
Now, I hadn't locked the door, because the gals were coming and going. Put I had put up the "Private Party - we are closed right now sign". I was busy checking out one of the gals at the register, and everyone is looking at this SKETCHY dude like "WTF?" And I mouth "harley man". He sees that I am busy, asks if I will ever make it back to the place where we had met, and I told him probably not, I don't go out much in this area. He sees that I am busy (I was), but he's looking at the rosaries and says he wants to buy one for his daughter. He says he'll come back tomorow or Saturday.
Can I say OMG? WTF? He's going to be coming back and will most likely try to ask me out for a beer again. But he will also be a customer, since he wants to buy a rosary. AND, although I never had gotten actual sketchy vibes from him, a troop of the gals waited for me to close up the store so they could walk me to my car. AND they made sure my car started. (THANK YOU! You ladies rock!)
As if tonight wasn't crazy enough, with all the bead hen hoo ha gab. Now I've got to fend off Harley Man in the next day or two. I'm not worried. But what a mess!
It starts with my last solo date night. Had a great time, ended up sitting next to and chatting with a really sketchy LOOKING dude, who ended up seeming totally harmless and nice. Well, I happened to had told him where I worked. Since it was all of 200 feet from where the bar was.
A week ago:
Beading gals night at the store. Two of the ladies were left, everyone else had gone, and I was closing up. Had the door locked, was getting ready to shut down the register. A knock at the door. Who do I see? John/Bruce/American Harley Man. I open the door, lean out. He asks me what I am doing later. "Um, going home". He invites me out for a beer. "That's nice of you, I enjoyed our conversation last week". Friday or Saturday? "Um, I may be out and about, I don't know". He says he'll check back with me next week. My gal friends and I have a hoot. "Can you imagine if he showed up with everyone else here?" Good god, that would have been funny. The gals left, I close the store. I am walking on the sidewalk, headed to my car, when guess who pulls up on his Harley. He offers me a ride home. But then he says that I've got all my bags, so maybe not. And I'm thinking, yeah, um, I came to work in my own car, thank you.
Afterwards, one of the gals who missed the man, says to me, "Hey you never know? If he shows up again and we're all there, would he pass inspection?". NO!!!!!
Tonight:
Beading gals night on the store. At one point I remembered to whisper to my friend, "Didn't that Harley guy say he was going to come back "next" week? She tells me she will stay late with me and walk me to my car. Well GUESS what. A short time after that, who comes waltzing through the door but the American Harley Man/Bruce Willis right out of Die Hard only not bloody.
Now, I hadn't locked the door, because the gals were coming and going. Put I had put up the "Private Party - we are closed right now sign". I was busy checking out one of the gals at the register, and everyone is looking at this SKETCHY dude like "WTF?" And I mouth "harley man". He sees that I am busy, asks if I will ever make it back to the place where we had met, and I told him probably not, I don't go out much in this area. He sees that I am busy (I was), but he's looking at the rosaries and says he wants to buy one for his daughter. He says he'll come back tomorow or Saturday.
Can I say OMG? WTF? He's going to be coming back and will most likely try to ask me out for a beer again. But he will also be a customer, since he wants to buy a rosary. AND, although I never had gotten actual sketchy vibes from him, a troop of the gals waited for me to close up the store so they could walk me to my car. AND they made sure my car started. (THANK YOU! You ladies rock!)
As if tonight wasn't crazy enough, with all the bead hen hoo ha gab. Now I've got to fend off Harley Man in the next day or two. I'm not worried. But what a mess!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Off the horse again. And a new idea.
I've been "slacking". Haven't been out on a solo dat night since my "Beer and conversation" night. Last weekend, I was too busy with work. Burning the midnight oil working on making a big batch of earrings, etc. to sell. THIS weekend, well, I was too tired last night. And had a work party. Tonight? Didn't feel like it.
My mother keeps asking me when she calls in the evening, "So, where are you? are you out?" No. "Did you go out last night?" No.
SLACKING!!! But I've been busy creating at home, and that makes me happy.
A new idea:
I had a conversation with a woman at work today. Turns out she has a single daughter, my age. This daughter has been trying out dating sites and singles type events. And she has many funny stories about dating misadventures. Her mother wants her to compile a book of her stories. Something along the lines of "How many Frogs DO you have to kiss?". The best story she shared with me was this:
One guy said to her, "I need to marry a woman before my mother dies". The response from the young single woman? "You'd better start planning!". She didn't end up dating him. The man was looking for a woman who could take care of him, because his mom won't be around forever.
So, if any of you readers out there, have any hilarious, (or wonderful), dating stories, I'd love to hear them, and post them anonymously here on my blog! Feel free to email me stories at originalbeadwork(at)gmail(dot)com.
My mother keeps asking me when she calls in the evening, "So, where are you? are you out?" No. "Did you go out last night?" No.
SLACKING!!! But I've been busy creating at home, and that makes me happy.
A new idea:
I had a conversation with a woman at work today. Turns out she has a single daughter, my age. This daughter has been trying out dating sites and singles type events. And she has many funny stories about dating misadventures. Her mother wants her to compile a book of her stories. Something along the lines of "How many Frogs DO you have to kiss?". The best story she shared with me was this:
One guy said to her, "I need to marry a woman before my mother dies". The response from the young single woman? "You'd better start planning!". She didn't end up dating him. The man was looking for a woman who could take care of him, because his mom won't be around forever.
So, if any of you readers out there, have any hilarious, (or wonderful), dating stories, I'd love to hear them, and post them anonymously here on my blog! Feel free to email me stories at originalbeadwork(at)gmail(dot)com.
Friday, March 12, 2010
A Beer and Conversation
Wow! Just got back from my third official "Solo Date Night". It was a good one!
For this adventure, I decided I'd go to a casual old local place. Hole in the wall, been around forever type of place. Last time (only other time) I was there, I not only saw some of my neighboors, but my brother's best friend's little brother. So, local watering hole. Known for the best Fish and Chips in the area.
Had trouble finding parking, and when I walked into the bar, there were a lot of people! I almost chickened but got my guts together and pushed through, looking for a seat. At the far end, there was one open seat. Between two very scruffy looking dudes. One was quite an older man, with long shaggy grey and hair and a beard - like an old billy goat. The other looked like Bruce Willis right out of Die Hard. Seriously. Alright, I thought, this will be interesting. I looked at the empty seat and "Bruce Willis" said, "I don't bite".
OH BOY.
I order a beer and a fried fish sandwich. Billy Goat man kept to himself, but "Brucey" was chatty. I kept my guard up, WAY up. But then I began to notice that I was in good hands. All of the assorted young female staff greeted my neighbors by name and asked how they were, one even slapped tough man "Bruce" on the shoulder and said "How are ya Hon?". Turns out "Bruce" is named John. We talked almost the entire time, about music, skiing, this town we live in, etc etc. He even bought me a beer. And I felt completely safe. He knew a lot of the people in the place, and I overheard him talking about his music. I'll try to attach a link to his song "American Harley Man" from youtube.
After finishing my food and beer, I figured it was time to quit while I was ahead. I was genuinely enjoying to talking to John/Bruce, but, well, yeah. Time to go before he does something stupid like ask me for my number or anything. I left in good spirits, the first end to a solo date night where I was actually smiling and happy, and wishing I wasn't so smart and careful about being out by myself. AND this was the first solo date night that I have had a good conversation with a random person. Fun!
this song is actually pretty good (American Harley Man by John Greene):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOFiPrQX7qQ
For this adventure, I decided I'd go to a casual old local place. Hole in the wall, been around forever type of place. Last time (only other time) I was there, I not only saw some of my neighboors, but my brother's best friend's little brother. So, local watering hole. Known for the best Fish and Chips in the area.
Had trouble finding parking, and when I walked into the bar, there were a lot of people! I almost chickened but got my guts together and pushed through, looking for a seat. At the far end, there was one open seat. Between two very scruffy looking dudes. One was quite an older man, with long shaggy grey and hair and a beard - like an old billy goat. The other looked like Bruce Willis right out of Die Hard. Seriously. Alright, I thought, this will be interesting. I looked at the empty seat and "Bruce Willis" said, "I don't bite".
OH BOY.
I order a beer and a fried fish sandwich. Billy Goat man kept to himself, but "Brucey" was chatty. I kept my guard up, WAY up. But then I began to notice that I was in good hands. All of the assorted young female staff greeted my neighbors by name and asked how they were, one even slapped tough man "Bruce" on the shoulder and said "How are ya Hon?". Turns out "Bruce" is named John. We talked almost the entire time, about music, skiing, this town we live in, etc etc. He even bought me a beer. And I felt completely safe. He knew a lot of the people in the place, and I overheard him talking about his music. I'll try to attach a link to his song "American Harley Man" from youtube.
After finishing my food and beer, I figured it was time to quit while I was ahead. I was genuinely enjoying to talking to John/Bruce, but, well, yeah. Time to go before he does something stupid like ask me for my number or anything. I left in good spirits, the first end to a solo date night where I was actually smiling and happy, and wishing I wasn't so smart and careful about being out by myself. AND this was the first solo date night that I have had a good conversation with a random person. Fun!
this song is actually pretty good (American Harley Man by John Greene):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOFiPrQX7qQ
back on the horse
It's been a few weeks since I've done a solo date night. Turns out, I've been pretty busy, and tired. It was my goal to get myself back out in the world solo again tonight. And I'm gonna do it!
I may be tired as heck, and only recently,(as in the last couple hours) climbed out of a serious melancholic funk that kept me awake and silently screaming all night long. The cold, grey rainy day certainly isn't a help.
This will be my second night out this week - wooo!!! I also had a fun "non solo, not a date" night out a couple evenings ago, with my favorite elf.
I have a craving for a beer and some fish and chips. And I think that I will sleep very well tonight. Will write about tonights adventures, if there are any, later!
I may be tired as heck, and only recently,(as in the last couple hours) climbed out of a serious melancholic funk that kept me awake and silently screaming all night long. The cold, grey rainy day certainly isn't a help.
This will be my second night out this week - wooo!!! I also had a fun "non solo, not a date" night out a couple evenings ago, with my favorite elf.
I have a craving for a beer and some fish and chips. And I think that I will sleep very well tonight. Will write about tonights adventures, if there are any, later!
Friday, March 5, 2010
The "Castle" - Vacation Nights Out
I got back a couple days ago from a vacation that I take every year with my family. This was our 19th year! Amazing! I have so many great memories from this place - a big old resort in the middle of nowhere NH. Very traditional, upscale, yet rustic. This is a place where many families come at the same time, year after year (an 80% return rate for guests). We have met many people that we see when we are up there. Now, and back when I was teenager when we went during school breaks.
When I was 14, I had my first date there. A boy my age, invited me to watch a movie with him in the old theater in the basement. His name was Tim. The following year, I met a handsome tall fellow. We became pen-pal high school sweethearts of a sort. Lasted for a couple years. I traveled up to NH to go to both of his proms! Since then, I have had romantic notions of meeting someone else while up there. For a couple years, recently, I actually had a beau that came with me and my family. A big milestone, as we were actually allowed to share a room (my parents are a little awkward about unmarried couples sharing rooms...heheh.)
Every year, on this trip, since we were old enough (which is WAY too many years), my brother and I have gone to the hotel "tavern" after dinner to listen to the entertainment. Have been listening to the same guys year after year, and they have gotten to know us, and remember us. Sometimes I have gone by myself, and it's a lot of fun. Funnily enough, the grey haired, balding, yet cool bohemian piano player seems to have developed a crush on me. Kissed me on the cheek the other night.
My brother and I were there three nights in a row this week. The third night, before dinner, the entire family went in. We were served by a very good looking, tall, young man. Then my parents recognized him as the hotel manager's son. Immediately there appeared whispered talk that I should, um, try to get my "in" with this guy. Heheh. Nudge nudge. Wink wink.
SO. After dinner, my bro and I return to the tavern. There's been a running joke that since I'm always out with my brother at this place, and his wife stays with the kids, that many people mistake my brother and I for the couple, and his wife the nanny. SO. When the friendly handsome young server started talking to us, my brother (who had had a few) proceeded to mention MANY times that I was his SISTER and was SINGLE. A tad embarrassing, but funny. Finally the handsome manager's son said that he was living with his girlfriend. Foiled!
There are rules at this place. Much of the staff lives in the hotel, in dormitory wings, or apartments. They are forbidden to "fraternize" with the guests. Think of the movie "Dirty Dancing". Our young good looking server said he and his father see this hotel as having something in common with that movie. He once dated a girl who was younger, and a guest at the hotel with her family.
So, it is my family's hope that next year, if the manager's son is still working at the hotel, that he will be single. In other words, THEY want an "in". I.e: free rooms. Yes, they are pricey. Heheh.
When I was 14, I had my first date there. A boy my age, invited me to watch a movie with him in the old theater in the basement. His name was Tim. The following year, I met a handsome tall fellow. We became pen-pal high school sweethearts of a sort. Lasted for a couple years. I traveled up to NH to go to both of his proms! Since then, I have had romantic notions of meeting someone else while up there. For a couple years, recently, I actually had a beau that came with me and my family. A big milestone, as we were actually allowed to share a room (my parents are a little awkward about unmarried couples sharing rooms...heheh.)
Every year, on this trip, since we were old enough (which is WAY too many years), my brother and I have gone to the hotel "tavern" after dinner to listen to the entertainment. Have been listening to the same guys year after year, and they have gotten to know us, and remember us. Sometimes I have gone by myself, and it's a lot of fun. Funnily enough, the grey haired, balding, yet cool bohemian piano player seems to have developed a crush on me. Kissed me on the cheek the other night.
My brother and I were there three nights in a row this week. The third night, before dinner, the entire family went in. We were served by a very good looking, tall, young man. Then my parents recognized him as the hotel manager's son. Immediately there appeared whispered talk that I should, um, try to get my "in" with this guy. Heheh. Nudge nudge. Wink wink.
SO. After dinner, my bro and I return to the tavern. There's been a running joke that since I'm always out with my brother at this place, and his wife stays with the kids, that many people mistake my brother and I for the couple, and his wife the nanny. SO. When the friendly handsome young server started talking to us, my brother (who had had a few) proceeded to mention MANY times that I was his SISTER and was SINGLE. A tad embarrassing, but funny. Finally the handsome manager's son said that he was living with his girlfriend. Foiled!
There are rules at this place. Much of the staff lives in the hotel, in dormitory wings, or apartments. They are forbidden to "fraternize" with the guests. Think of the movie "Dirty Dancing". Our young good looking server said he and his father see this hotel as having something in common with that movie. He once dated a girl who was younger, and a guest at the hotel with her family.
So, it is my family's hope that next year, if the manager's son is still working at the hotel, that he will be single. In other words, THEY want an "in". I.e: free rooms. Yes, they are pricey. Heheh.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Solo Date Night Birthday Musing
Well, I missed last week. Didn't take myself out because I was feeling too overwhelmed with work. I could take myself out tonight, but it's snowing and I have to pack!
So what's on Solo Date Night Gal's mind? My birthday! Ordinarily, I wouldn't be excited about my birthday, but this one happens to coincide with the first day of my vacation. I'll be spending the time with my family in the cold, snowy woods.
I've been a little bit bothered by the idea of my birthday, as I have been since I turned 25. Last year's birthday was rough - the BIG 30. This one? Well, 31 of course. What's the problem with that? Oh, LOTS of things. The big one?
You might have heard the notion that a woman is at her sexual peak at the age of 30. I have heard that. Certainly makes sense, in a few ways, and I devoured the few (alright, a couple) guys that were in my life this past year. So, when I turn 31, does it all turn downhill? Have I reached the crest? Does it get worse from here? Or can it get better?
SEXUAL PEAK!!!!!!!
Hahah. There. I've been wanting to yell that for the past couple of weeks.
So what's on Solo Date Night Gal's mind? My birthday! Ordinarily, I wouldn't be excited about my birthday, but this one happens to coincide with the first day of my vacation. I'll be spending the time with my family in the cold, snowy woods.
I've been a little bit bothered by the idea of my birthday, as I have been since I turned 25. Last year's birthday was rough - the BIG 30. This one? Well, 31 of course. What's the problem with that? Oh, LOTS of things. The big one?
You might have heard the notion that a woman is at her sexual peak at the age of 30. I have heard that. Certainly makes sense, in a few ways, and I devoured the few (alright, a couple) guys that were in my life this past year. So, when I turn 31, does it all turn downhill? Have I reached the crest? Does it get worse from here? Or can it get better?
SEXUAL PEAK!!!!!!!
Hahah. There. I've been wanting to yell that for the past couple of weeks.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Bistro Basque - Solo Date Night #2
Due to the V-day weekend and possible crowding of restaurants, I decided to take myself out early. The place I wanted to go to is just up the street from where I work. So after closing up, I meandered my way over....5:30. Nice and early. There are very few people in there and the cozy little bar area is completely unoccupied.
I order a glass of wine and look at the appetizers. Mmmm...tenderloin. (served on toasted baguette with olives and more). The barkeep is a young woman with a wonderful accent (I begin to notice that all the wait staff is speaking french). She politely asks if I am from the area, and I say, "Yes, I work just down the street" (and told her about what I do). Oh! She so says to me, You must have been here plenty of times then! "No," I anwser, "Just once or twice" (meaning once). But why she asks? "Well, because I usally just leave work and go home!".
A couple of men come in, looks like a father and son duo, the son about my age. They order glasses of sherry. Did I mention this is an almost-very fancy French/Spanish restaurant? They chat with the female wait staff like they come here all the time. I'm sure that if I had made eye contact I might have had a conversation, but I avoided that.
The manager arrives. I recognoze him from around town, and I wonder if he recognizes me. He's been into my work before. He looks like he's just gotten out of bed and hasn't showered. Tousled hair. "Bon appetite" he says to me. And "how are you?" Fine thank you, and you? "Tired" he says!
A very spanish looking waiter comes to me and says something in his heavy accent. After clarification, turns out he said to me that his hair is as long as mine. Huh? Looked like he had a shoulder length pony tail. He turns and shows me that his long straight black hair is braided and twisted up. He smiles. "Same length" he says.
I am done with my wine and tenderloin (DEElicious). And the barmaid comes to me with a small glass of liquor "An Invitito" she says. What???? "An invite for conversation" OMG, I am thinking...WHO????? I catch the manager's eye. "We give this everyone as thanks" she (the bar maid) says. Ah, ok. Whew!
The restaurant is getting busier. It is time for me to go. Now, my mother gave me a recommendation about going out solo - bring a journal to occupy yourself. Since I don't keep a journal, I brought my sketchbook for my jewelry. Kept it in my purse for back-up but had to take it out as I put away my wallet and started with my coat. "Ahhhh...skwetchbuk?" This is the manager with his heavy Basque accent. "Whaaat are yu skwetching?" Um...nothing...I have ideas in here...he looks to me to elaborate..."But nothing else came to me". He points to to the succulent arrangement on the edge of the bar - "Whaat abouut thees?". Did I mention he has captivating blue eyes? I have my coat on and am next to the door. I say thank you and bolt!
Summary? I liked it when it was not crowded. Staff was friendly. Next time I won't avoid making eye contact with people.
I order a glass of wine and look at the appetizers. Mmmm...tenderloin. (served on toasted baguette with olives and more). The barkeep is a young woman with a wonderful accent (I begin to notice that all the wait staff is speaking french). She politely asks if I am from the area, and I say, "Yes, I work just down the street" (and told her about what I do). Oh! She so says to me, You must have been here plenty of times then! "No," I anwser, "Just once or twice" (meaning once). But why she asks? "Well, because I usally just leave work and go home!".
A couple of men come in, looks like a father and son duo, the son about my age. They order glasses of sherry. Did I mention this is an almost-very fancy French/Spanish restaurant? They chat with the female wait staff like they come here all the time. I'm sure that if I had made eye contact I might have had a conversation, but I avoided that.
The manager arrives. I recognoze him from around town, and I wonder if he recognizes me. He's been into my work before. He looks like he's just gotten out of bed and hasn't showered. Tousled hair. "Bon appetite" he says to me. And "how are you?" Fine thank you, and you? "Tired" he says!
A very spanish looking waiter comes to me and says something in his heavy accent. After clarification, turns out he said to me that his hair is as long as mine. Huh? Looked like he had a shoulder length pony tail. He turns and shows me that his long straight black hair is braided and twisted up. He smiles. "Same length" he says.
I am done with my wine and tenderloin (DEElicious). And the barmaid comes to me with a small glass of liquor "An Invitito" she says. What???? "An invite for conversation" OMG, I am thinking...WHO????? I catch the manager's eye. "We give this everyone as thanks" she (the bar maid) says. Ah, ok. Whew!
The restaurant is getting busier. It is time for me to go. Now, my mother gave me a recommendation about going out solo - bring a journal to occupy yourself. Since I don't keep a journal, I brought my sketchbook for my jewelry. Kept it in my purse for back-up but had to take it out as I put away my wallet and started with my coat. "Ahhhh...skwetchbuk?" This is the manager with his heavy Basque accent. "Whaaat are yu skwetching?" Um...nothing...I have ideas in here...he looks to me to elaborate..."But nothing else came to me". He points to to the succulent arrangement on the edge of the bar - "Whaat abouut thees?". Did I mention he has captivating blue eyes? I have my coat on and am next to the door. I say thank you and bolt!
Summary? I liked it when it was not crowded. Staff was friendly. Next time I won't avoid making eye contact with people.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
The Dreaded V-Day.
Tomorrow night is Friday - know what that means? That means I am going to take myself out again! There is one teeny tiny problem. This weekend happens to be the weekend that Valentine's day happens on. Why is this a problem? Well it's a problem because it means that lots of couples will be out and about that wouldn't necessarily be out and about. There will be dates, special dinners....restaurants will be mobbed and most single people like myself should and would be avoiding those places like the plague.
I have a craving for a good glass of wine and some exotic tapas. I have a place in mind. It's a pretty nice place, small, expensive, and cozy. I'm hoping that it won't be too busy, because if I walk in and see that there's no place to sit at the bar....well, my night will be foiled. We shall see. I cross my fingers.
An another note, this solo date night gal ALSO has plans for Saturday! Now the problem is this: these are plans with a guy. Is it a date? No. But it is kind of a getting-to-know you better type of not-a-date. And I'm sure anyone looking at us will think that we are on a date. Especially because it is the day before Valentine's Day, am I right?
I have a craving for a good glass of wine and some exotic tapas. I have a place in mind. It's a pretty nice place, small, expensive, and cozy. I'm hoping that it won't be too busy, because if I walk in and see that there's no place to sit at the bar....well, my night will be foiled. We shall see. I cross my fingers.
An another note, this solo date night gal ALSO has plans for Saturday! Now the problem is this: these are plans with a guy. Is it a date? No. But it is kind of a getting-to-know you better type of not-a-date. And I'm sure anyone looking at us will think that we are on a date. Especially because it is the day before Valentine's Day, am I right?
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Citrus Martini - The First Solo Date Night.
For the past couple of weeks, I have been psyching myself up for going out by myself. Last night, I finally did it. I was terrified. Indeed, hours before, I started sweating uncontrollably. Repeat applications of deoderant were NOT helping. I put up a post on my facebook page, basically saying "Help me facebook friends! I need moral support!". My plan was to use my smart phone to message back and forth with my far away friends while I braved the humiliating aspect of being out alone.
I had the location picked out: a nice restaurant with great food that also has a hip bar area that serves an extensive list of martinis. I had been there before, back in my non-single days. And I REALLY wanted their seared tuna entre and a fancy drink. It had been TOO long. So I alerted my faithful FB friends, and headed out.
First off, I was worried about finding parking. I headed out relatively late, wanting to avoid the crush of dining couples that eat out at normal hours. True enough, there were only a couple spaces available in the one downtown (yes, it's a small downtown) parking lot. Walked to the restuarant, went in. Turned into the bar, and IT WAS FULL. I thought my plans were foiled, I turned to leave, looking to my phone as if to text/call a friend, when the host spotted me.
"Looking for a table? Are you meeting someone?" Oh, the most dreaded of questions which I was not strong enough to face. So I um, told the man I may be meeting a friend later, but wanted to get a seat at the bar so I could get something to eat first. He recommended that I get myself a drink, hover, join other people's conversations, or wait in the waiting area. I got the drink and went to the "waiting for a table" area. Unfortunately, there was a group of men standing there....so back to the phone I went. Hoping I didn't look like a deer in headlights. The host checked up on me a couple times, then told me had a couple seats opening up at the bar, and made sure to tell the bartender I was coming for one of them. I really feel like he was putting himself out there for me. Perhaps I did look scared, and maybe he knew that I WASN'T really meeting someone later. The host placed my drink next to where the couple was vacating, while I waited, and pretended to be busy with my phone. I may have updated my facebook status.
FINALLY, I have a seat. I turn to sit, and my 1/4 full citrus martini was GONE!!!!!! The bartender tossed it out (thinking it had been abandonned). So, he graciously made me a new one. Now, one martini would have been enough for me. The first one was just right, and the second one was STRONG. Ordered the sesame encrusted pan seared tuna with Wasabi potatos (Yay! So exciting!).
I became truly aware of the number of people around me, as I buried my head in my phone...typing updates and pretending I was actually talking to someone. Young men would come up to the space next to me to order drinks. A girl said to me "how do you like your phone? I ask because I'm a Verizon customer support representative". Now that was funny. I told her I LOVED my phone.
There was a couple next to me, apparently on a date. He was younger and she was older (cougar - I thought!). They were in that "getting to know more about you" stage. He did all the talking, about how often he goes to gym, and what his first job was after college and why. It was horrible and hilarious. When she asked him how old he was, and she responded with "I feel like a cougar", and he countered with "oh, you don't look like that at all", I nearly laughed out loud.
Eventually, I finished eating, had had several glasses of water, and had finished my martini.....and I was getting bored. And antsy, and self conscious. It was 10:00 and the place was getting more bar like. EXODUS. First I walked around a little bit - had a look at the outsides of some of the other downtown spots. It was cold and I didn't want to go in any of them. Home I went.
The result of the experiment? I CAN DO this. I survived. And it wasn't horrible. And I will do it again. But next time maybe I will be braver.
I had the location picked out: a nice restaurant with great food that also has a hip bar area that serves an extensive list of martinis. I had been there before, back in my non-single days. And I REALLY wanted their seared tuna entre and a fancy drink. It had been TOO long. So I alerted my faithful FB friends, and headed out.
First off, I was worried about finding parking. I headed out relatively late, wanting to avoid the crush of dining couples that eat out at normal hours. True enough, there were only a couple spaces available in the one downtown (yes, it's a small downtown) parking lot. Walked to the restuarant, went in. Turned into the bar, and IT WAS FULL. I thought my plans were foiled, I turned to leave, looking to my phone as if to text/call a friend, when the host spotted me.
"Looking for a table? Are you meeting someone?" Oh, the most dreaded of questions which I was not strong enough to face. So I um, told the man I may be meeting a friend later, but wanted to get a seat at the bar so I could get something to eat first. He recommended that I get myself a drink, hover, join other people's conversations, or wait in the waiting area. I got the drink and went to the "waiting for a table" area. Unfortunately, there was a group of men standing there....so back to the phone I went. Hoping I didn't look like a deer in headlights. The host checked up on me a couple times, then told me had a couple seats opening up at the bar, and made sure to tell the bartender I was coming for one of them. I really feel like he was putting himself out there for me. Perhaps I did look scared, and maybe he knew that I WASN'T really meeting someone later. The host placed my drink next to where the couple was vacating, while I waited, and pretended to be busy with my phone. I may have updated my facebook status.
FINALLY, I have a seat. I turn to sit, and my 1/4 full citrus martini was GONE!!!!!! The bartender tossed it out (thinking it had been abandonned). So, he graciously made me a new one. Now, one martini would have been enough for me. The first one was just right, and the second one was STRONG. Ordered the sesame encrusted pan seared tuna with Wasabi potatos (Yay! So exciting!).
I became truly aware of the number of people around me, as I buried my head in my phone...typing updates and pretending I was actually talking to someone. Young men would come up to the space next to me to order drinks. A girl said to me "how do you like your phone? I ask because I'm a Verizon customer support representative". Now that was funny. I told her I LOVED my phone.
There was a couple next to me, apparently on a date. He was younger and she was older (cougar - I thought!). They were in that "getting to know more about you" stage. He did all the talking, about how often he goes to gym, and what his first job was after college and why. It was horrible and hilarious. When she asked him how old he was, and she responded with "I feel like a cougar", and he countered with "oh, you don't look like that at all", I nearly laughed out loud.
Eventually, I finished eating, had had several glasses of water, and had finished my martini.....and I was getting bored. And antsy, and self conscious. It was 10:00 and the place was getting more bar like. EXODUS. First I walked around a little bit - had a look at the outsides of some of the other downtown spots. It was cold and I didn't want to go in any of them. Home I went.
The result of the experiment? I CAN DO this. I survived. And it wasn't horrible. And I will do it again. But next time maybe I will be braver.
Intro
After a recent culmination of events, which has been years in the making, I've decided to start "Solo Date Night". My first "solo date" was last night, and I was inspired. But first...a few more words on WHY:
Sometimes, a girl just really needs to go out for a martini and a fancy dinner. But she doesn't always have someone to go with. Like me. Going out by one's self could be a terrifying and humiliating experience. I am going to try to prove that wrong. Instead, I will hopefully find that it will be an empowering and exciting experience. After my first (okay, second - but that was a long time ago) night out by myself, I am going to commit myself to going out solo at least every other week, if not one night a week, and share my experiences. And, not to jinx myself, but perhaps my solo evenings will eventually NOT be solo all the time. We shall see. This could be interesting.
I need to write about my first solo date.
Sometimes, a girl just really needs to go out for a martini and a fancy dinner. But she doesn't always have someone to go with. Like me. Going out by one's self could be a terrifying and humiliating experience. I am going to try to prove that wrong. Instead, I will hopefully find that it will be an empowering and exciting experience. After my first (okay, second - but that was a long time ago) night out by myself, I am going to commit myself to going out solo at least every other week, if not one night a week, and share my experiences. And, not to jinx myself, but perhaps my solo evenings will eventually NOT be solo all the time. We shall see. This could be interesting.
I need to write about my first solo date.
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