"Why aren't you married?" - A conversation with a 4 yr old

Alright, so this post isn't about going out solo - it's about BEING solo. And a child's perspective of that.

Last night I had the rare priviledge of visiting with my 4 1/2 yr old niece, and putting her to bed. Before we went up to brush teeth, etc., she asked, "Where's Mark?". Mark is my former boyfriend, whom we haven't seen now for a year and a half. She's finally started to realize that he's not around anymore. Her memory boggles me. She was only three when he and I parted ways, but for her entire life, he had been around. He met her before she could talk or walk, and was always at every family gathering.

After reading her a bedtime story, the topic came up again. "Itilacs = 4 yr old."

"Where's Mark? I miss him"
I don't know sweety, I haven't seen him for a while
"Why not?"
Well, he's busy with his life and work...."
"Why don't you see him anymore?"
I don't know...these things happen.
"How come you don't see him? He LIVES with you!!!"
No he doesn't.
"Yes he does!"
No he never did, you just saw us together.
"Why doesn't he live with you?"
Because we weren't married.
"Why didn't he marry you?"
Well...we didn't....I don't know. We were boyfriend and girlfriend. We didn't get married.
"Who did you marry?"
Nobody, sweety, I'm not married.
(and here it get's a little confusing, as she kept running around in circles with her questions)
"Are you going to get married?"
Maybe someday.
"You need to marry Mark. I miss Mark"
Maybe YOU should marry Mark!!!!
"NO, YOU!!"
No, you! when you grow up and he is an old man.
"No, YOU marry Mark! (giggle)"
I don't think that's going to happen. Someday I will have a new guy friend that you might meet.
"Is he your new boyfriend?"
Not yet.
"Why not?"
Well, because we're still getting to know each other.
"What's his name?"
Lionel (name made up to protect the innocent)
"YOU'RE going to marry Lionel!"
Enough of this silly goober talk. Go to bed!
(There was a lot more...this is the condensed version.)

Summary? I can't wait until she tells her parents that Aunty Kiga is going to marry her new boyfriend "Lionel". And that she is going to marry Mark when she grows up and he is an old man.

wasting time

I'm not old enough to be an old maid, yet I'm not young enough to be a spring chicken (these few grey hairs will give me away). AT 31 years old, however, dating is not easy. Most of my gal friends are married with kids. And most of the guys out there my age that are available...well, you know what they say.



Once upon a time, I had a guy who was completely devoted to me - for life (he even knew my ring size). He thought toward the future, and what he needed to do with his life and his career so that he could take care of me, and our possible future children, and a house. He started planning, slowly.....At the time, I found the idea completely unappealing. Perhaps because it didn't feel right.



So, what am I looking for now? Can I be as picky as I am? I feel like I am READY to be with that guy who would want to take care of me. Not that the clock is ticking though. I'm in NO rush for children, though I do want them eventually. Before my eggs run out - heh.



It's got be on MY terms though. I stay here. I won't move to follow a man who can't settle down. I live in this house. The guy has to like this house too, this place. And since I can barely take care of myself, the guy has to able to prove that he can take care of HIMself. Because eventually, well, he may have to take care of me.



So what does that mean? Am I wasting my time?



Every morning that I make my coffee, for one....I wonder...about making coffee for two again..

In a Perfect World / Need a Rager

In a perfect world, I wouldn't feel guilty spending the afternoon on the beach on one of my "days off". Because I ALWAY have work to do. In a perfect world, I wouldn't feel like crying as I sat on my patio in the 80 degree sunshine, letting the sea breeze dry my (so very long) hair. In a perfect world, I wouldn't feel so alone as I watched tv on Hulu.com while crochetting squares for a blanket.

I've been feeling lately that I need a really wild night out. Someplace crowded, lots of people, fun music. Have a few drinks, destroy a few men. But I'm not going to a place where I can do this on my own. Most of my wonderful gal friends, well, perhaps they are a bit TOO OLD for this kind of behavior (heheh - shout out to my fairy god mothers!). I am feeling the need to relapse into a college kids type of party, only not with college aged kids. Since, well, I am too old for that!!!! Well, maybe I'm not. I barely look like I'm over 21.....

Someplace classy, but not, a range of people, young and "old". Someplace really really fun.

What to do? It may be time to summon some of my "original chicks" from high school. Yeah, they may be married with kids, but I need some wing women! And a designated driver.....

Time to let loose! (but I need some help)

Hoo Haw! The American Harley Man Returns.

Oh wow. OMG. Too funny. DO I have a story for you.

It starts with my last solo date night. Had a great time, ended up sitting next to and chatting with a really sketchy LOOKING dude, who ended up seeming totally harmless and nice. Well, I happened to had told him where I worked. Since it was all of 200 feet from where the bar was.

A week ago:
Beading gals night at the store. Two of the ladies were left, everyone else had gone, and I was closing up. Had the door locked, was getting ready to shut down the register. A knock at the door. Who do I see? John/Bruce/American Harley Man. I open the door, lean out. He asks me what I am doing later. "Um, going home". He invites me out for a beer. "That's nice of you, I enjoyed our conversation last week". Friday or Saturday? "Um, I may be out and about, I don't know". He says he'll check back with me next week. My gal friends and I have a hoot. "Can you imagine if he showed up with everyone else here?" Good god, that would have been funny. The gals left, I close the store. I am walking on the sidewalk, headed to my car, when guess who pulls up on his Harley. He offers me a ride home. But then he says that I've got all my bags, so maybe not. And I'm thinking, yeah, um, I came to work in my own car, thank you.

Afterwards, one of the gals who missed the man, says to me, "Hey you never know? If he shows up again and we're all there, would he pass inspection?". NO!!!!!

Tonight:
Beading gals night on the store. At one point I remembered to whisper to my friend, "Didn't that Harley guy say he was going to come back "next" week? She tells me she will stay late with me and walk me to my car. Well GUESS what. A short time after that, who comes waltzing through the door but the American Harley Man/Bruce Willis right out of Die Hard only not bloody.
Now, I hadn't locked the door, because the gals were coming and going. Put I had put up the "Private Party - we are closed right now sign". I was busy checking out one of the gals at the register, and everyone is looking at this SKETCHY dude like "WTF?" And I mouth "harley man". He sees that I am busy, asks if I will ever make it back to the place where we had met, and I told him probably not, I don't go out much in this area. He sees that I am busy (I was), but he's looking at the rosaries and says he wants to buy one for his daughter. He says he'll come back tomorow or Saturday.

Can I say OMG? WTF? He's going to be coming back and will most likely try to ask me out for a beer again. But he will also be a customer, since he wants to buy a rosary. AND, although I never had gotten actual sketchy vibes from him, a troop of the gals waited for me to close up the store so they could walk me to my car. AND they made sure my car started. (THANK YOU! You ladies rock!)

As if tonight wasn't crazy enough, with all the bead hen hoo ha gab. Now I've got to fend off Harley Man in the next day or two. I'm not worried. But what a mess!