Noodle, Nick, Dave, The Groupon Guy....and I don't think I want to do this again.

On my last solo night out, I found myself to be SO depressed afterwards...I'm  not sure I want to do it again.  But not because it wasn't fun nor interesting ... it just left me feeling....empty? Lonely? I'm not sure.

On Friday, May 4th, I was working a "closing shift" at work, meaning I got out at 6:00pm instead of my normal 4:30. I figured this was the perfect opportunity to take myself out after work to the nearby Ruby Tuesdays before heading home. I had gotten a gift card for my birthday back in February, and hadn't used it yet. Friday is jeans day at work, so I wasn't wearing my scrubs, but I did change out of my T-shirt, thanks to baby boogers.

I go into the bar area, it's small. The bartender is an attractive tall thin gray haired man. I order a "cucumber cooler". It has fresh cucumber and mint leaves in it and a lot of lime. "Is it too limey for you?" He asks. Oh no, this is perfect! I order a pasta with veggies and chicken.

There's a group of three men having drinks at the bar, they appear to be friends and regulars.  They know the bartender by name, and also seem to know other patrons.  I over hear their names. There's "Noodle", he appears to be in his 40s with a little salt in his hair, kind of in an attractive way. There's "Dave", he's big and round and loud. There's "Nick", he's on the younger side, maybe 30s, and is cute in the way that that guy Nick from the "New Girl" TV series is cute!

One patron goes over to Nick, he appears to have some kind of impairment, he keeps repeating the same sentences as he shows something to Nick on his phone. Nick is patient and kind, and talks to this guy politely. They seem to have spoken before. Meanwhile, Nick's friends are laughing at this other guy. Nick says to the patron, "Ignore these two, they are assholes!!!" THANK YOU NICK! Their laughter was pissing me off as this other patron was trying to explain something and was obviously having trouble  (in a way that was not due to alcohol consumption).

I'm pretty much done with my dinner, and a man with a bright yellow shirt open on the collar, and a surfer style wooden beaded necklace around his neck, comes and sits next to me at the corner of the bar. He's quite talkative, telling me all about the dinner deals you can get online and through Groupon. Like two meals for the price of one (he's a big round guy BTW). And the free Friday buffet at the Orange Ale House (from which he has just left). He said he's single, so he eats out a lot and is always looking for coupons.

Groupon guy goes to talk to that same patron that was trying to talk to Nick, and Big Dave turns to me and gets talkative. I hear his life story, he's a mailman and he's moving so his kitchen is all packed up and he can't cook.

I have leftovers on my plate and my bartender brings me a box. I try to lift the plate, a couple times, but it is too heavy. He's headed back my way and I ask him for help. "Of course!" He says, "I was just going to do that for you!". Very nice. I had to box my own dinner at Applebees. Heavy plate there too.

Big Dave's friend "Noodle" is now here again and asks me, "What's for dinner? " Do you mean what WAS for dinner? Because obviously I had been there eating next to them. I am getting up to leave and Noodle says, "Drive home safe! "

I got home safe of course, only one drink. All hopped up and tired at the same time, and became utterly depressed. If I had stayed, I could have had some more nice conversations with those guys. But did I really want to? I did, but I didn't want to seem desperate for company. I only talk to my coworkers when we have a chance, and to my parents once a week. So I WAS desperate. And that felt awful.  And I didn't know how my interest would go over with these guys. I didn't want to get hit on. But talking with a man, even with an unattractive one, was a nice change.

Nick was cute though, I think I caught his eye in the mirror behind the bar.

I don't think I'll go out solo again for a while. Luckily I ran into a friend at the grocery store a couple weeks ago,  and she invited me to go out to a thing all the wives are going to next Saturday night. That should be fun, and not at all awkward I hope. Especially since I thought I was going to be one of those wives in that group...and haven't seen or really heard from them at all.